Lawns.
Why would any sane "Aussie" ever want one? The problem with lawns is that they attract
public enemy numbers one and two; the lawn mower and the “whipper-snipper”. Now
we all know that these pieces of objectionable machinery register high on
everyone’s “Richter-scale” of irritability but why is it that the trigger for
their drill-like, bleats, always seems to be me, settling down on a Saturday arvo, for a “quiet” uninterrupted
read? There I am, embracing the silent sanctity of suburbia, when their acerbic
drones are projected into the recesses of my brain like an electric eel. They
encamp there until I’m blaspheming in the manner of a tourettes sufferer on
steroids.
What
compounds my irritation is that this unctuous sound is an aural illustration of
the ignorance, waste and futility that spawned it. It epitomises humanity’s
descent into blind stupidity. Ninety nine times out of a hundred the “Whipper
Snipper” is used to trim exotic grasses such a Buffalo, Couch and Kikuyu, which
shouldn’t even be present in this fragile continent. Across Australia we’ve
planted hundreds of thousands of lawns made out of foreign weed species that
devour water and nutrients like they’ve gone out of fashion. That is idiocy.
If
my neighbours replaced their weedy lawns with native ground cover such as
“Dichondra ” they would never have to whip, snip or mow again..ever! And the
benefits don’t end with me being able to catch up on my “Sydney Morning Herald”. For a
start their lawn will go from being a weed seed-bank to a beautiful indigenous
“biosphere”. They would also save mega bucks by not needlessly investing in
machinery, fuel, lawn-food and irrigation systems. Petrol powered gardening equipment also
accounts for around 5% of our air pollution. That’s a huge potential dent in
greenhouse emissions just waiting to happen.
They would also economise massively on time...precious moments
they could spend reading leading edge journalism or maybe just drinking, gambling
and committing adultery. In addition they would be able to stay out of the sun
and limit their exposure to damaging UV rays. Lives could be saved!
When
you add up the social, environmental, physical and financial equation centred
on grass growth and grass grooming, it’s quite clear. We have been hoodwinked
by the lawn and mowing sector at a level that would make Tobacco Industry
lobbyists, turf-coloured with envy.
Postscript: I used to spend several futile hours a month mowing.
In an enlightened moment I dug up the lawn and replaced it with the lawn
substitute called “Dichonda Repens” more commonly known as “Kidney weed” (NB it
is not a weed). This native ground-cover
is available in tube stock pots from most nurseries and garden centres;
it thrives best in semi shaded area. Plant
one clump, every square 100cm, in your newly-cleared patch. Water in well and
weed regularly until established. You will soon have a gorgeous green carpet
and never need to mow again!!
|
A
weedy, thirsty, energy intensive lawn now replaced by a soft carpeted native
ground-cover |